Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Tattooist

So what is this one about?
Netflix is tricky. I mean, it is awesome...but tricky.
Because when I read this After swiping an ancient Samoan tattoo tool from a Singapore trade show, American tattoo artist Jake Sawyer (Jason Behr) flies to New Zealand, where he meets up with the lovely Sina (Mia Blake) and discovers the local Samoan culture. But when his stolen tool ends up unleashing an evil avenging spirit, Sina is imperiled, and it's up to Jake to save the day. This New Zealand horror extravaganza features gorgeous scenery of exotic locales.
I thought to myself, yeah, that sounds good.

Well, good job Netflix, for tricking me once again!

And how much did I pay to watch?
Well, I am much too lazy to figure out how much this one cost, but I would imagine it was a lot, since I've watched like 5 discs in a month. Yikes!

And what did I think?
Well, like I already said, Netflix tricked me. I thought, NEW ZEALAND!! Heck yes!! Alas, the accents were unintelligible (beyond what the normal NZ accent is) and the locales were not exotic or beautiful. Grumblies.

I suppose it is my own fault. Reading the description makes the movie sound just so awful! And it was. The story was so daft, and elementary and just plain old dumb. Wanna know the secret? The ink of the tattoos that the main character gave attacked the people and they died. And it was awesome when they died because they bled both blood and ink.

Now, when I watched Tony Bourdain's No Reservations: Malaysia I learned that some of the stuff that was addressed in The Tattooist is accurate because there is some sort of pride and meaning behind tattoos. They aren't all just names of your current boyfriend. I guess maybe if I had been more into tattoos and the art and history behind it maybe this movie would have been better.

But probably not.

So what is the rating? (out of 10)
The Tattooist
was awful. I mean, yes, the two main characters weren't hideous to look at, but the story was so incredibly lame.

This one gets a 3.

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