Thursday, July 23, 2009

Play Misty for Me

So what is this one about?

The beloved Netflix* tells us,

Silver-tongued radio disc jockey Dave (Clint Eastwood) can't help but notice the persistent calls from a female to "play 'Misty' for me." But when a chance meeting with infatuated fan Evelyn leads to a brief and steamy love affair, Dave quickly learns he's in for more than a little night music. Evelyn will stop at nothing -- even the return of one of Dave's old flames -- to have him all to herself. The film marks Eastwood's directorial debut.

Sweet, ain’t nothing I love more than one of those woman scorned/stalker psycho movies! (see Fatal Attraction, Swim Fan—especially good, The Crush, etc. And don’t forget that bizarre variant, the man scorned/ stalker psycho, see Fear)

*did you know that Microsoft Word recognizes Netflix as a proper noun and capitalizes it? Well it does!!

And how much did I pay to watch?

Gah! I think when I watched this I was also watching In Treatment, so maybe less because there was some serious disc shuffling. But, maybe I paid $16.99 (per month) Who knows?

And what did I think?

Well, if you didn’t know (I don’t know how that would be possible) I love Gran Torino. Kudos to Clint and all his amazingness! Then I watched The Changeling, which was also another awesome Clint movie. After that I decided to add a ton of Eastwood movies to my Netflix queue. This was one of them, I thought it sounded the most fun. Plus, it wasn’t a western, and it was his directorial debut. Well, let me tell you two things.

1) Clint Eastwood was a serious hottie when he was younger.

2) His directing skillz have VASTLY improved since his first days. And thank heavens for that!!

Play Misty for Me was so ridiculous I couldn’t believe it at times. It is funny when I watch a movie alone (which is where I watch most of them…you know, so I don’t get distracted by outside stimuli) and I laugh out loud at parts that aren’t even supposed to be funny.

I truly don’t know what Clint was thinking with this one. There is a lot of potential with the story—as we’ve seen in other movies—and the acting wasn’t horrible… Clint was good, the person who played crazy Evelyn was goodish, and the person who played his girlfriend was a little/lot annoying. But, the actual direction of visual shots and the addition of music was so irritating there were multiple times I almost (or did I?) fast forwarded through the visual/audio vomit I was experiencing.

What is that you’re saying? You don’t understand what I’m talking about since you haven’t seen this movie? I will give you an example, taken straight from Wikipedia. “The film features a romantic montage backed by Roberta Flack's recording of "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face."” And when you follow that link over to the song wikipage you learn that the flipping song is 5:22 long. JESUS. Is that really necessary?? A five minute+ long montage where two characters are making out/doing it in the forest? I will answer for you. The answer is NO. Never is that sort of thing ok. Well, maybe in a porno, but that would be a different blog all together.

Another example? Sure. Wikipedia says “It is also notable for its use of location shooting, mostly in the area of Carmel-by-the-Sea, California, where Eastwood has long made his home, and where he was elected Mayor in 1986. Additional scenes were shot at the Monterey Jazz Festival in September 1970, featuring jazz greats Johnny Otis, Cannonball Adderley, and future Weather Report founder Joe Zawinul.” All those location shots were overly long and romantical. Soft focus and all that shit. And good god, if there is one thing I hate in movies (even in movies I like, like the Sound of Music) it is flipping soft focus!! So, add up the overly long shots of boring scenery that adds nothing to the plot and the ridiculous use of crappy music and you’ve got a movie that Julia did not like!

So what is the rating? (out of 10)

Even Clint couldn’t save this silly movie from ending up in the bottom part of my scale. I will give it a 4, because even though it wasn’t even passable as a halfway movie, it did have Clint.

I swear. *shakes head*

Thursday, July 16, 2009


So what is this one about?

Netflix tells us “As take-charge Army virologist Sam Daniels (Dustin Hoffman) strives to thwart a global biological meltdown in the form of a killer virus that has infested a California community, he must also battle those who say the only way to stop the disease is to firebomb the town. Silver-screen luminaries Rene Russo, Morgan Freeman, Donald Sutherland and Kevin Spacey join Hoffman in this edge-of-your-seat, doomsday thriller.”

Basically, this movie is about a fake Ebola virus. SWEET!!!!!

And how much did I pay to watch?

Some amount on Netflix. Lord, I have been SO slow in movie watching lately. (And not just watching, but UPDATING. I am ashamed)

And what did I think?

Well, if you know me IRL then you will know that lately (past month and a half –two months) I have been very interested in science books/ ebola. I read Panic in Level 4: Cannibals, Killer Viruses, and Other Journeys to the Edge of Science by Richard Preston. This book was FASCINATING! As someone who doesn’t really like science, I tore through this book…read it in less than a week! Then I read Preston’s The Hot Zone in less than a week too! And, as Wikipedia tells us, “The Hot Zone served as the loose basis of the Hollywood movie Outbreak (1995) about military machinations surrounding a fictional "Motaba virus." Huzzah! So, I figured I should watch this.

So, motaba is a hemorrhagic fever where the infected person bleeds out of all their orifaces and their guts turn to liquid. Sweet. But, it didn’t look a gross as I would have imagined it would. But, when I watched a documentary about Ebola, I was also surprised about how ungory the infected were. (Man, whenever I say “infected” I always think about zombies, sick.). But other than the lack of goriness, everything else in this movie was a hyperbolic form of its real world self! And I LOVED IT!

I found myself giggling at times that should have been suspenseful because the movie was just so extreme at times! For example, ebola tends to kill people within 7 to 10 days of infection, but this silly motaba virus killed people within like 24 hours…or maybe it was 2-4, I cannot remember, but it was super hyperbolic. And the Donald Sutherland character, he was the general, and he wasn’t just a mean general who was trying to mess up Dustin Hoffman, no, he was trying to [SPOILER ALERT] kill the whole town!!!! And the music was super, like, suspenseful and was supposed to be very dramatic. The whole thing was really just very silly.

And let me get this straight, I am supposed to believe that Dustin Hoffman (troll) and Renee Russo (not a troll, fairly good looking actually) were in love and married at one point. Um… what?? I cannot think of anyone not only less attractive, but less sexy, and appealing than Dustin Hoffman. (well, I probably could, and since I am typing this at work it isn’t like I don’t have so much time on my hands that I could just stare off into space for 15 minutes trying to think of someone else…but I digress). Maybe you should comment and leave me suggestions for who is less appealing than Dustin Hoffman.

Anyway, it was amusing.

So what is the rating? (out of 10)

So, was this as interesting as The Hot Zone? No way!!! Was it sort of fun anyway? Sure! It did take me quite a few sit downs to get through it (which might have had something to do with me being tired, because once I got into it, it was fun!) So, I’ll give it a 6. It gets that extra point because the disease ridden monkey was cute.

OH, and because Kevin Spacey was in it! (is he gay? I feel like I read somewhere that he is… weird)