The Death of Alice Blue (Part of Spooky Movie-- The Washington DC International Horror Film Festival)

So what is this one about?
So, The Death of Alice Blue was screened along with four short films--Death in Charge, Thorns, Orla's Song, and Elder Song. Taken from the Spooky Movie website, here are the descriptions of all five films.

DEATH IN CHARGE – Don’t tell Mom the babysitter’s Death...The Grim Reaper is mistaken for a babysitter and learns a thing or two about life. (15m, U.S.A.)

THORNS – A gorgeous woman and an eccentric man spend a romantic evening together. The man is haunted by the memory of his past lover, and the woman’s seduction yields unexpected results. (7m, Czech Republic)

ORLA’S SONG – A sacrificed child calls for revenge from beyond the grave. (20m, United Kingdom)

ELDER SIGN – If you suffer from an overwhelming sense of dread brought on by the realization of your own insignificance in the universe, then you need Elder Sign. (2m, Canada)

THE DEATH OF ALICE BLUE - Alice Blue is a new creative intern at Raven Advertising. Unfortunately for her it’s run by vampires. A group of eccentrics enlist her aid in thwarting their nefarious schemes. But there’s a complication. There’s the possibility that she herself may be genetically predisposed to being the greatest vampire ever, and the only one who can save the dying breed. Alice is forced to confront herself and make a stand, whatever the outcome. One of the most original and exciting features that we have screened! (86m, Canada)

Ta dah!

And how much did I pay to watch?
Nothing! I was surprised that one of my old Cinema Arts friends from high school was back working at the theatre. I don't want to say too much more because I don't want to get him in trouble.

And what did I think?
Well, of the short films Death in Charge was the best. It was pretty clever. Orla's Song was ok too. Thorns was atrocious and Elder Sign was ridic.

As for The Death of Alice Blue, it was also entirely ridiculous. Probably one of the baddest movies I've seen. Not as in bad topic, but as in silly plot, silly scenery, and high camp factor.

There was an incredibly good looking actor in the film. Most of the men were ok looking--those silly Canadians. So, the actor in question was Kristen Holden-Ried. That is an actor? A male? Yes, and a good looking one. And when I got home I looked at him on imdb and realized that I knew him from somewhere else. He was in The Tudors! He was the hot one from the 1st season who died of the sweating sickness. You remember, the hot gay one! Yesssssssssssssssssss!In addition to KHR, the other high point of the movie was the single greatest line I've ever heard in a movie. The line was so great I wrote it on a post-it note and put it up in front of my desk so I can read it and chuckle whenever I want. What was the line? It was said by Alice's mom to Alice on her birthday at dinner. "My god Alice, you look like the ugliest girl in Toronto!" LOVE IT!

So, the plot of the movie was so ridiculously silly, apparently Alice needed to stop the vampires who were running the company she was working for. And all around the office the vampires were spacey and had iv bags full of blood for them to "eat" during the day. This was definitely the most B-movie I have ever seen.

But the scene where Alice was dancing the KHR's character in the club was hot, hot, hot!

So what is the rating? (out of 10)
I have to give this movie credit. It is a totally indie film made by Canadian film makers and it takes place in Toronto. I give it a 5 because it sure tried.

If you want to watch something silly, watch The Death of Alice Blue.

Kraska v nesnazich (Beauty in trouble)

So what is this one about?
Netflix says, A natural disaster forces Marcela (Anna Geislerová) and her husband, Jarda (Roman Luknár), to make difficult choices in this powerful drama from Czech director Jan Hrebejk. To make ends meet, a desperate Jarda resorts to stripping stolen cars, but Marcela can't accept his new life. She moves in with her parents, becomes involved with a wealthy older man, and must choose between a life of quiet security and her turbulent, but passionate, marriage.

I guess technically this is a proper description of this film, but after seeing it this isn't really true. I guess this movie is about the choices people make.

Interestingly enough, Jack once told me about this website where they do TV Guide type one sentence descriptions for the movie that while factually accurate sort of miss the point. This movie was sort of like that.

And how much did I pay to watch?
$10 at Landmark E Street cinema. AKA...where all the bourgie city folk go on Saturdays.

And what did I think?
First things first...I saw this movie because I read a review of it in the Washington Post. They described the movie just like Netflix did. {Normally I don't bother reading reviews, EVER, but I saw the part at the bottom where it says, "Czech language with English subtitles", and I became curious} But after seeing the movie the description just seems wrong. While technically that is what the movie was about it just feels like it wasn't really accurate.

One of the weird things about this film was the music. I mean, the music choices were full on bizarre. Some of the music was like Czech pop/folk music, and it was woven into the movie through a character who interacted with the main characters who played accordion and sang. For example, in the opening scenes she was singing (like doing a sound check) at a bar that the main character's mother worked at. Then later she was doing a concert for the men in jail when her husband was in jail. And the songs she sang were subtitled in English and sort of like, told a story, recalled what had happened and made value judgements. Like when the husband was in jail and the wife was off in Italy with her kids and the new man the singer was like "She is gone, flown away, you let the bird slip from your hands". Odd things like that. THEN it got even weirder because there were 4 songs in English by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova--the musicians from the movie Once. It. was. SO. weird!!

I guess what the Post was blathering on about in their review was that the characters weren't "good" or "bad" but were good or bad at different points...telling us stupid Americans that Europeans don't have the same black and white conceptions of "good guys" and "bad guys". I mean, yeah, I guess this was true, but I don't think the vagueness added anything to the movie.

In the end I ended up not liking the main character or the choices she made.

Oh yeah, and her boobs were in everyone's face the entire movie.

So what is the rating? (out of 10)
I guess this movie wasn't really a bad one, technically. I just didn't really care for it. Maybe I need to see it again or something, but even now I feel like I am not communicating well that for some reason the movie just didn't sit right with me. It wasn't bad, it wasn't good, I just didn't really like it.

But it wasn't really a bad movie, so I'll give it a 4.