Since you've been gone...

Thanks Toothpaste for Dinner!

I must offer some profuse apologies. Or maybe not. I ran into Brunch Bird last weekend at, of all places, of course, the movies. (I was there to watch The Roommate. How was it you ask? Hysterically amazing!) She asked if I had a blog when I told her that I liked hers and I said "I do, but it sort of went defunct after watching Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." (Oh, and how was that you ask? Only the best movie I saw in 2010!) She said, "Well, it's never too late to start up again. I'd know." And she is right.

And I have seen some really worthy movies. I don't think I am an extraordinary writer, or maybe even that good, but my friends seem to enjoy it. So, back to movies. Well, all of the Swedish Steig Larsson movies were high points in my movie watching year last year. But I never wrote about them. I don't know if I ever will, but hopefully. So what has been going on with me, you ask? Well, lets do a photo run down, shall we?

According to my last post I stopped writing after I went to GA in March. Well, I went back in May. It was the epic Georgia trip. It will go down in the annals of the Georgia Trips. Well, until Lori and I go on our ten year anniversary road trip though Georgia.

Epic Georgia Adventure. May 2010.

Let's see. Then the World Cup happened, right? Well, I rooted for Germany, until they lost to Spain. That German support involved many hours at Lucky Bar and included me being interviewed at 7:30am on the CBS local news! Good thing my State Department colleagues knew I was drinking beer at 8am on a work day. Here is me and a bunch of other Germany fans after they beat Australia (? Australia, right?)

German Victory. And lots of Beer. World Cup 2010.

The World Cup era was also a celebration of new housing arrangements. I moved in May and therefore was able to acquire this little piece of toilet paper shredding heaven at the end of June. She is excellent. For the most part. Except she shreds all my toilet paper. Named after a 20th century Mexican Revolutionary, her name is

Emiliano Zapata. July 2010.

She's almost ten months old now (March 6) and is currently sitting in a reusable bag with a pair of my heels. Good work Zizzle.

August was epic because not only did I audition for the Capitals Red Rocker squad (and did not make the cut) but I also went to DISNEYLAND for the first time!!! Good god, if you haven't been there book your plane ticket now. It is the most wonderful place on earth. Even better than Niagara Falls. And I bet you never thought you'd hear that come out of my mouth!

The wonderful world of Disney. August 2010.

We also spent time with our good friend Steven while there. He took us around Los Angeles. Mel and I were re-united with high school friends. We ate at Spago. Saw the Hollywood sign (though I think we actually looked to the right to see the Hollywood sign). Saw the jail where OJ was kept. Saw a Soviet submarine. Ate Jack in the Box and had an all around fantastic vacation!!

Look to the left and I see the Hollywood sign.
Everyone here is so famous.
Including Craig Kilbourne.
I told him he looked like my grad school advisor. HAH!
August 2010

But the fun didn't stop in August. Oh no, no. September brought about three momentous events.
1. First UGA game day. We lost. Sad.

Imagine us in Game Day dresses. September 2010.

2. American Idiot on Broadway with Billie Joe Armstrong. Of course, now he is in the show for a two month run, but at the time he was only doing 8 shows. And I saw one of them!St. Jimmy died today/ He blew his brains out into the bay. September 2010.

3. Another Virginia inspired beauty. This time for my left arm.

You're looking at $300 of dogwood. September 2010.

October was confusing. Zombies invaded Washington and I was there to document it. I almost got ejected from the National Mall by the Park Service because they didn't believe I was not a professional photographer. Why? It wasn't because they saw this post and were amazed at all my photos (I took all of them except the one of Billie Joe). No. It was because he took one look at my camera and thought it was too "professional." Dude, hate to break it to you, but I'm not the only person in the city with a DSLR. Durr.

The Walking Dead invade Washington. October 2010.

In November I did play professional photographer though. I took my friends' engagement photos. I loved it. Does anyone have anything they want me to photograph? My rates are reasonable! You can email photography.jdh@gmail.com if you're interested. I am available in DC but will travel. I'm not kidding. You'll be impressed when you see my work below.

The real work. November 2010.

December was pretty standard. Heartbreak. Presents. New Years Eve in Georgia. The Caps won the Winter Classic (in your face Pittsburgh!) and the year started off more miserable than I could possibly imagine. Work upheaval. Henious sinus infection. The complete opposite of Love, Valour, Compassion. So I really needed one weekend in January to go well. Luckily the weekend I spent in New York for Mel and Barry's birthday was excellent. If it hadn't been I don't think I'd be here to type this right now. I'd still be crying in a gutter.

A new era of Hope. January 2011.

This brings us, more or less, to the present day. I tried to buy a scratching post for the cat but the pet store was sold out. It was very tragic. (UPDATE: I have secured said scratching post. VICTORY!)

But, this is neither a blog about my stupid cat nor a blog about my excellent photography skillz (though, seriously, email me if you want me to shoot something for you!), it is a blog about movies. So here, very very briefly, are my reviews of the movies I have seen since we last spoke (minus movies that weren't new to me--Dawn of the Dead, Interview with the Vampire, Titanic, Before Sunset, etc, etc, etc, etc.) And in no particular order...

The movies:

• All the Swedish Steig Larsson movies. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo--the best one of the three. I am so glad I saw the movie before I read the book. The movie was so shocking because I had no idea what was going to happen. It was the best movie I saw in 2010! The Girl Who Played with Fire-- Good. I think the book and the movie were actually pretty different. Again, I saw the movie first then read the book. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest--The book is waiting to be read on my shelf. P.S. sweet Mohawk!
• 127 hours--very different then I thought it would be. I was actually surprisingly emotional. Go see it. Seriously. It is very good. Even though Danny Boyle annoys me. Though, I did enjoy 28 Days Later. A lot.
  
• Black Swan--overrated I think. I didn't care about any of the characters and was in fact hoping bad things would happen to them. Plus, I want to punch Natalie Portman in the face. Seriously. I did like that Frenchy though. I hope it doesn't win all sort of Oscars.
  
• Casino Jack--Erik and I wanted to go see a movie and there was nothing out. So he suggested this. It was fine. I was entertained. It was interesting to "learn" about Jack Abramoff. Plus, I like Kevin Spacey and I like drinking my pomegranate Italian sodas at E Street.
• A Film Unfinished--I saw this after I got my tattoo. Another good thing about E Street is that you can order beer there. Which I did. To stop the arm throbbing. A Film Unfinished is the footage that was recorded to make a Nazi propaganda film. The film was somewhat interesting even though nothing Nazi related seems to shock me anymore. I guess that is what you get for being a history major. Nothing in it stuck with me to this day. Just watch The Pianist instead.
• Easy A--Watched this with Lori on the last GA trip. It was entertaining. I like that Emma Stone. Her parents were ridiculously amusing and Dan from Gossip Girl was in it. What's not to like??
• Jackass 3D--I will confess, the only reason I watched this was because the boy I was crushing on worked on this movie. He was the stereoscopic supervisor. Basically, his job was to make it 3D. (You can figure out who he is on imdb) Otherwise, it wasn't nearly as amusing as I remember Jackass to be. I guess maybe I am getting too old for this? There was one though where a guy got his tooth pulled out. It made me feel like I was going to puke. So, maybe, mission accomplished?
• The Roommate--This one was a pretty recent view and I will admit it, I saw it because I love horror movies and Leighton Meester. What of it? Christ Almighty this movie was bad. If we hadn't seen it at Chinatown and had the "interactive" movie experience (ever noticed the audience at Ctown can't shut the eff up? They talk to the screen. They think it is interactive) this would have been a total waste. But by the end the reaction from the audience with the action on the screen was so hilarious that we were all dying of laughter. I imagine this was not the desired effect when they made the film.
• Up--I know. I know. How is it possible I haven't seen this yet? IDK. I watched it on Christmas, perfect movie for that day, right?! I loved it. I thought the animation was so excellent and the characters were so sweet. I was chastised though because I didn't cry at the beginning. I guess I have a stone where my heart should be?
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1--I actually saw this movie twice! Once the day after Thanksgiving and once on Christmas. Don't you just love Harry Potter at holiday time? God, I do!! This is obviously the best HP yet. Why? Obviously because they split it in two so it can be closer to the story in the book. Love love love love love it. Can't wait till the end.
• Blue Valentine--Ah yes, another E street wonder. What does it say about me, or maybe about that theatre, that anything I see there is more enjoyable than a movie anywhere else? And how do I remember that I had my pomegranate soda, resces pieces and a crab pretzel? They must pump some sort of hyper circulated air in, or something. Anyway. I liked this. It wasn't uplifting, but sometimes neither is life. Michelle Williams was way better than stupid Natalie Portman. SHE should win the Oscar. I also sort of realized I am in love with Ryan Gosling. I guess I should get in line.
  
• Catfish--OH DAMN. Seriously. This was the other best movie of 2010. I want everyone to watch it. I wont say anything about it though, because I want you to experience it with fresh eyes. After Erik and I watched this we had to immediately go to another movie to cleanse the palate of this one. It was SO GOOD!!!
• Devil--is the movie we saw after Catfish. What is with M.Night? Seriously. That guy can't make a good movie to save his life. Though. I did sort of like it. But it is really hard to tell if he is being serious or just thinks that he can make good previews and trick people into seeing his movies.
  
• Inception--Yes, yes. A worthy Oscar contender. But lets be seriously. I love Leonardo DiCaprio. I would watch him read the phone book. I love him. Love, love, love. This was good. I liked it. I should watch it again. Oh Man... speaking of Inception and Up. Watch this. It is freaking HILARiOUS!!!!! Please watch it. Please. It is so good.
  
• Let the Right One In--A Swedish vampire movie. I hear that the book is much better. Let's all just read the book, eh?
• Dead Snow--Hahahahahaha. Yes. You know this movie. It has some of my favorite elements. Norway. Zombies. Nazis. Well, Nazis aren't my favorite, but they are historical. Yes, a somewhat historical zombie movie set in Norway. It was just as bad, or as good, as you expected. I watched this on Halloween. Totally viable.
  
• Please Give--I watched this because I read something about it in Slate. The article was talking about this scene where the daughter wasn't a pair of jeans and how it was really sad and realistic. I don't know about that but I thought the movie was good. Entertaining. And the actors were quite good. And Amanda Peet was in it. Solved.
• Saw 3D--Ok. Ok. This was just like Jackass 3D. Mel and I went to see this because her friend was in it. It was awful. Just awful. But we did see her high school friend get cut in half. Classic.
• Waiting for Superman--I read something about this movie that said some of the scenes where the kids are waiting during the lotteries were actually fake. It was disappointing. I mean, I suppose what is more disappointing is that not everyone can go to school in one of the best counties in America, like I did. It is sad that people can't get quality education. I dunno that charter schools are the answer. I just wish people had more money so they could move to a good school district.
• Survival of the Dead--This movie makes me sad. This is not George Romero quality. It was just atrocious. Just so, so, so so awful.
• Rachel Getting Married--Here is the thing about this movie. It was actually pretty good. But towards the end Anne Hathaway has her hair highlighted and it was so hideous it was actually distracting. Like, I could not focus on the movie. Just ask Erik. He was there. Also, why was that family so weird? Maybe we will never know.
• Midnight in the Garden of Good And Evil--Lori and I both read this book in preparation for our Georgia Road Trip 2011. It was an excellent book. Just excellent. It teaches you so much about Georgia history and prepares you to travel to Savannah. The narration was amazing. But Christ this movie was bad. Not even Kevin Spacey and Jude Law could fix it. Message to Hollywood: Just because a book is awesome doesn't mean it will translate well to film. Please consider why the book is good (narration and the character development) and make sure you can do that in the movie. Because they couldn't do it, it made the movie not good. We both fell asleep then had to return to watch it another day. Sad.
• The Fighter--I just saw this last night. Yay for solo dates! This one was much better than Black Swan. Christian Bale should win an Oscar. Brother is scary good! I liked this one. I like that there is a character arc, and that I care what happens to them. And I am not sure, but were the sisters supposed to be funny, because hoo-boy. What was going on with them? Despite the fact it was a Thursday night and everyone in the theater was over 25 it was still interactive. Oh Chinatown.
  

The television...

• True Blood Seasons 1 and 2--Fuck I love this show. It is pretty unusual that I am interested in a show from the first episode, but I was with this one. Thanks to RaeJean to recommending it. I can't wait till I can watch Season 3.
• Peep Show Seasons 1-7--God this show is hilarious. Peep Show is a BBC production about two friends, Mark and Jeremy (though my favorite character is Super Hanz...which I thought was Super Hands for a long time). It is sort of like It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia but set in England. I discovered the show one morning when I woke up from a night out at like 5 and I needed to wash my face and brush my teeth. I turned on the telly, which was on BBC because I was watching Law and Order: UK when I fell asleep and I was absolutely hooked! It is on BBC America Saturday mornings from 4-6am... for those times when you're just getting home from the bar or are too drunk to fall asleep. Or you can watch all the episodes on Hulu. You wont regret it. It is hysterical.
• The IT Crowd Seasons 1-3--The only reason I watched this show was because it was available on Netflix view it now. The first season was really funny. The other two, not as much. It reminds me of the show within a show on Extras. What was it called? When the Whistle Blows? It has the same sort of odd BBC production values... almost like it is a fake show.
• The Walking Dead--Remember when I said the Walking Dead invaded DC? Well, these were the dead from this show. God. What didn't I like about this show? It took place in Georgia. Had Zombies. Was made by AMC. And it was one of the first scary shows I have ever watched. Other than MTV's Fear (god I miss that show) I have never actually been scared during a show. The first three or so eps of this show just made me so nervous. I loved it. The DVD comes out around my birthday. Hint. Hint.
  
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 1--To say Lori was mad when I liked True Blood would be the understatement of 2010. She was like, "those aren't real vampires. Watch Buffy. Otherwise I will hate you." So over NYE weekend we watched Season 1. I will tell you, the vampires in TB are so much sexier (ugh) than the ones in BtVS. Lori would say "They're not supposed to be sexy! They're supposed to be evil!! I hate you." So Season 1 was sort of ridiculous. The production quality was very low and the episodes were hysterical. But we made a drinking game out of it and now Season 2 is much much better. Ah, the things we do for love!

Wow. That took many days to complete. That is the full disclosure. Hopefully now that I have gotten those out of the way I can go back to updating regularly. Coming soon... (or what I have been watching, or have ready to watch...)

Glee: Season 1 (two discs left)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 2 (three episodes left)
The Tudors: Season 4 (how did I not know this was out?! I will watch it once Glee is over)
The Social Network (waiting at home to be watched Sunday)
Mighty Ducks and D2 (purchased with an amazon card I won at work!)

and thats all for now! Welcome back.

See you at the movies. Or something. (E street. Not Chinatown)

Up in the Air

So what is this one about?
Netflix tells us,

Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) racks up miles flying around the country firing employees on behalf of companies. But he faces losing the job he savors to recent college grad Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick) -- and losing the ability to escape emotional ties to anything. A connection he builds with Alex Goran (Vera Farmiga), however, might change his outlook on the future. Golden Globe winner Jason Reitman's smart comedy also stars Jason Bateman.

It should probably more accurately say "the ability to escape emotional ties to everything" because that is what it really seemed like he was trying to do. To be an island. (Also, I frequently mistake Jason Reitman and Jason Bateman, I know who both of them are...but their names are just too, too similar!)

And how much did I pay to watch?
For all those times my mother has treated me to movies, I treated her. So I paid $14. Interestingly enough, if we had gone to Cinema DeLux instead, that is what I probably would have paid for only one of us. Thank heavens for locally owned, independent theatres ;)

And what did I think?
When I see television ads for this movie they use a trite description that declares "Up in the Air is a movie for our time!" Except that is really, really, really is! It is an absolutely correct statement. Whether it is that I have never seen one, or that now I am much more aware of, well, everything, I have never seen a movie that so wholeheartedly encapsulates the zeitgeist of a point in time--specifically "these times".

Everyone in the film is so desperate for a connection. Isn't that sort of what popular culture is consistently selling us? All these dating reality shows--where 500 women fling themselves at one man because all of them so badly want that connection (or maybe they just want to be on tv...who knows?)--and the commercials for match.com and eharmony.com and dating.com, isn't that what they are telling us? That in today's world of go-go-go and digital communication instead of face-to-face communication, that we are really all very desperate to connect with people in a very real and authentic way? It seems like if someone wants to make a connection, they can't. And then those that are alone and like being that way, will realize that they actually don't really want to be alone.

So what does any of that actually mean? Well, as far as movie things go, the acting was excellent. Why? Because you really start out not liking the characters, or not caring about them. But at the end you are so wrapped up in them and their issues. It is funny and poignant and affecting. Everything about it was excellent. I don't know if America wasn't suffering from a recession, and the auto industry wasn't in the toilet, and people are trying to blow up airplanes on Christmas, that the movie would have been as absolutely spot on as it was. If the movie had been made in 2002 when Reitman started writing the screenplay it wouldn't have been nearly as excellent as it was when it came out in 2009.

I guess that can be the theme of today's entries. Right place, right time.

So what is the rating? (out of 10)
The movie was absolutely crushing. Just the way I like them. It was exactly, exactly, exactly the sort of sad I like, because sometimes it feels like the sort of sad that my life is when I get to thinking about it. (I am actually a pretty happy person, not really emo at all, but I understand Ryan Bingham's dealy).

This will likely win Oscars--and probably whatever other stupid awards they do before the Oscars--and it will deserve them. But it isn't so stupid and simplistic that it is like the typical Oscar formula (at least, I don't think so). I'd love to read the book, because I love to see the way movies slaughter good books--but I don't think this one was really close to the book, rather more of an adaptation--and then see the movie again.

But for now, I will give it a 10. It is certainly my choice for awards this year. Not that Precious movie... I swear...*shakes head*

The Last Days of Disco

So what is this one about?
The 'flix tells us

Writer-director Whit Stillman captures the end of an era, chronicling love and heartbreak in a mirror-balled world of exclusive nightclubs packed with young singles who dispense wit drier than their martinis. A smart script and spot-on performances from an ensemble cast (including Robert Sean Leonard, Chloë Sevigny and Kate Beckinsale) distinguish Stillman's satire, the final installment in his so-called "yuppie trilogy."

Ok.

And how much did I pay to watch?
Well, I got it on netflix, about a bazillion years ago (actually less than a month ago), and I haven't been watching many movies, so I probably paid 1) more than I should have 2) more than I would have at blockbuster 3) more than it was worth.

And what did I think?
Well, reading this Slate article made me want to watch this movie. I mean, I'm a pretty smart gal. I enjoy quality, dense, smart films. The types of films that are Criterion Collection. But, jesus up in heaven, I did not get The Last Days of Disco at all! Maybe if I watched these other films in the "yuppie trilogy"--Metropolitan and Barcelona--I would have gotten what the heck was going on in this movie. Maybe if I had lived during the time that this movie took place in I would have understood it. But I seriously had absolutely no idea what was going on!

Was I somehow supposed to be moved by the crash in the 1980s? By these ladies trying to destroy each other and becoming "independent"? I seriously did not get it. Wikipedia talks about "themes" in the movie, and how for Chloe Sevigny this is her most asked about movie, but I really didn't see them or get that. Boys Don't Cry is so much better. (Don't bother watching Kids. That was likely my biggest movie watching mistake ever. Talk about effing depressing!)

Maybe I just like my "coming of age" 1990s movies more like Before Sunrise and Reality Bites and Clueless (ok, that one is a stretch).

So what is the rating? (out of 10)
I give it a 3. Maybe watch the other ones and then watch this one. Or maybe not.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

So what is this one about?
This one is about the movie version of my favorite Harry Potter book!! I love the sixth book, it was unquestioned my favorite. (The other favorites were 4 and 2...in that order. You know, just FYI) So, in case you've been living under a rock or (for shame) haven't read the Harry Potter books (come on, just do it. I read them when I was 25!! It is ok!! Just join in the fun!!) I will provide the 'flix descrip...

The sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry kicks off with a bang for young Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) when he inadvertently discovers a mysterious book that sheds light on the sordid life of the evil Lord Voldemort. Preparing for inevitable battle, Harry and Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) turn to professor Horace Slughorn (Jim Broadbent) for help in pinpointing the weakness in Voldemort's forces.

Ta dah!

And how much did I pay to watch?
You know how my mom pays for a lot of movies I watch? Well, when I went to Toronto I accidentally used my parent's credit card to pay for the luggage fee (question: do you realize how incredibly messed up it is to have to pay luggage fee on an international flight because Toronto is considered "domestic" despite the point that you have to check in at the international flight desk?!)--theirs looks just like mine, so she said I could pay her back by paying for Harry Potter.

I think I paid like $12 or $13. I think I went with the student price for me and the adult price for her.

And what did I think?
What did I think?! I thought that I was horrified at what the horrible, atrocious film maker did to my favorite Harry Potter book!!!!! And it doesn't make any damn sense! The fifth movie was my 2nd fave of the movies (I really liked #1 because it was just so magical and whimsical!) it was so dark and evil and scary and unfair, just like the book. Delores Umbridge was the most annoying, worst person ever. And the whole audience hated her! It was a faithful and amazing adaptation of the 5th book (my 4th fave of the series) and David Yates directed it. Man, when I was watching this one (the 6th one) I thought to myself, "Jesus! What sort of half assed, bullshit, nonsense director has mangled my beloved Half Blood Prince so badly?! I hope this shitwad doesn't doesn't have anything more to do with the Harry Potter franchise!!"

Well, joke's on me! You will imagine my horror when I found out that the director was the same as the 5th! A faithful and authentic version of the book. And you will imagine my immense horror when I saw that David Yates is also directing 7, parts 1 and 2!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Why?! Why?!

So, what was it that I found so offensive in this movie? I will tell you. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (the book) was scary, and slow, and you didn't know what was going to happen (aka) suspenseful, and so sad at the end (SPOILER: Do you know what happens at the end? I don't think I'm actually going to spoiler it, because when I read it I was just so, so sad and shocked!) And I have a very strong emotional association with the book because I was reading it while I was studying abroad in Hungary and then when I was on the train to Ukraine, and back, and on the plane back to the US. And like I said, sitting next to that old couple, with me in the aisle seat, I just couldn't believe the end of the book. I think I even teared up.

But the movie, oh, the movie, was frivolous, and teenager-y and not even serious! The stuff in the book was deadly serious but the movie was just like "oh, teenagers have crushes, and something really big happens at the end but it isn't a big deal because teenagers are emo!" God, it was horrible! And the scene where Harry and Dumbledore go out into the lake wasn't scary at all. Even the book was scary. Man, scary, scary, scary. But the scene in the movie was uninspired.

Even the love stories between Harry and Ginny was uninspired. I mean, who cared?! It didn't even make any sense! And what the hell was that scene in the field outside the burrow?? There were other scary scenes in the book...just. adapt. them!!!

I swear to god. I want to forsake my MA and the entire field I studied to start adapting books into screenplays, because I cannot imagine that it is as hard as everyone seems to think it is. Jesus, the horrible book to movie adaptations (in general) there is just no excuse for them!!

le sigh.

So what is the rating? (out of 10)
You wanna know what redeems this movie? I will tell you. Daniel Radcliffe is hot, hot, hot. And Emma Watson is so glorious, and effortless, and angelic. But Daniel Radcliffe is hot. Ginny is nowhere near hot enough for him. And that storyline wasn't even good!

So what redeems the movie is Daniel Radcliffe. So whereas I want to give this movie 4, because I was appalled by it, I cannot, because it is Harry Potter, and it is Daniel Radcliffe.

So I grudgingly give this a 5.

Alls I gots to say is 7 parts 1 and 2 better be better than this horrific adaptation!!! Work. it. OUT David Yates!!!

harrumph.

Marley & Me

So what is this one about?
Netflix tells us

Based on the best-selling memoir, this feature adaptation centers on Jennifer and John Grogan (Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson), who, as newlyweds about to start a family, learn many of life's important lessons from Marley, their lovable yet trouble-seeking canine. This heartwarming story examines the highs and lows of marriage, maturity and confronting ones' own mortality, as seen through the lens of family life with a dog.

And how much did I pay to watch?
I got it from netflix, and I think I've gotten enough movies this month to not have them be worth $16/disc. So, lets calculate...or, well, lets not. I've only gotten 3 discs in one month. YIKES!

And what did I think?
When I worked inauguration week I started out intros by having the students say their name, where they are from, and the best movie they'd seen recently--of course mine was Gran Torino. A lot of students said Seven Pounds and a lot said Marley & Me. Oh yeah, and they also said The Dark Knight. A student told me that she cried so much during Marley & Me. Well, we should all know by now...That was sort of an asshole thing to do, wasn't it? Well, I guess you should pretty much know that is what happens. Apparently it is what happens with most animal movies. Maybe because I knew that the dog dies I wasn't as suprised when he died. I will tell you, the part that got me a little choked up was when the oldest kid of Jennifer and John was so sad because he knew the dog was going to die.

Thankfully I have never had the experience of losing a longtime pet (you hear that Emmy? Don't die....) and I am sure it is very sad. Maybe because I haven't I didn't have as much empathy. Also, I didn't really care about the character of Jennifer, I felt much more for John. (Isn't this the first movie Owen Wilson made after his suicide attempt...god, that would have been so sad if he had died!)

I guess some parts of the movie were funny, and some were definately poignant, but overall it was just average.

So what is the rating? (out of 10)
I give it a 6. It gets that one more point because I love Owen Wilson. And Jennifer Aniston's body was amazing. Shit, I didn't beleive for a second that she was a mother of three who was almost 40. Not for one second.

The Hottest State

So what is this one about?
It was brought to my attention that Ethan Hawke--yes, the actor!--is also an author. He has written two books, The Hottest State and Ash Wednesday (in that order). Now, I was told that Ash Wednesday was much better than The Hottest State, and it was. I also didn't realize that the first book was made into a movie, but it was! So I rented it.

Netflix tells us

Ethan Hawke wrote and directed this adaptation of his novel, the story of William Harding (Mark Webber), a struggling actor who falls for a beautiful musician named Sarah (Catalina Sandino Moreno). While she's largely indifferent to their affair, William continues to pursue her, hoping to make a connection. His quest eventually leads him to insight into his own need for love. Laura Linney and Frank Whaley co-star.

Uh-huh.

And how much did I pay to watch?
Like I've said, probably a lot, because I haven't been wating many movies. But, I got it on netflix, if that answers the question sort of.

And what did I think?
This is the thing I don't understand about the Hottest State. I have been yapping on and on about how movies haven't been doing books justice...so tell me if this makes sense. Follow me for a minute... Actor Ethan Hawke writes a book. He then makes his book into a movie which he directs and stars in. Now, one would expect the movie to do a good job of translating the book, right?

Well, I am sure you can all imagine what happened.

No. Not at all. How can an author direct his own book into a movie and still lose a shit-ton in translation?!?!

Now, to my beloved Mr. Hawke's credit, the feel of the book was pretty much encapsulated in the film. However, some of the deviations from the book were so egregious I just don't know what to do with myself.

Sarah, the female lead was supposed to be a pasty, chubby, frizzy black haired weirdo (for lack of a better word). The reader of the book doesn't really understand why William is so head over heels for this girl. William is supposed to be a hot, slick, ladies man. But Sarah, she isn't interested in him, she isn't nice, she isn't putting out, and she isn't even good looking. So it was just shockingly bizarre when Hawke cast a beautiful girl in the role. It just loses so much.

And then, William was supposed to be the good looking one, which made his love for Sarah even weirded, but he wasn't!! When I read the book I pictured William as hot Ethan Hawke from Before Sunset, because his character's voice read just like Ethan Hawke...but William looks like a trashy, hideous Ethan Hawke. WHY!??!?

The characters went to Mexico instead of Paris, which I buy alright, but there wasn't enough buildup to Sarah asking William to marry her. Whoops! Just ruined it. Actually, I didn't, because you shouldn't really bother with this, and you shouldn't really read the book either. If you wanna read some Ethan Hawke, you should read Ash Wednesday, which is so entirely much better than The Hottest State.

The music was trite. It was like Hawke was trying too hard to make the charaters deep, and the pain authentic, and the music sentimental...and it just didn't work!

But man, was Laura Linney good. I guess I will need to stop pretending, lets be serious. I love her. She isn't my new girl crush, but she is a pretty damn fine actress.

Also, Michelle Williams was good as Samantha, but there wasn't enough development of the Sam character, like there was in the book.

So what is the rating? (out of 10)
Oh Ethan Hawke, really, if you hadn't written this book, directed the movie, and acted in it, I wouldn't have watched it. Well, I might have, but I wouldn't have given it the same ammount of credit I do when you put your name behind it.

I mean, I guess I will give it a 5. It was passable. It would have been much better if Richard Linklater had directed this, and it starred a young Ethan Hawke...but I guess that is impossible by the laws of time and space.

I'd like to see more directed by Hawke, and I love the idea of him making Ash Wednesday into a film, but I just don't know if that book--or maybe books in general--translate well enough to film.

Le sigh.

He's Just Not That Into You

**really? two months after I saw this I am finally getting around to the summary?? I am embarrassed.**

So what is this one about?
He's Just Not That Into You is a book that revolutionized the lives of women all over America, probably all over the world. I am not ashamed (well, maybe I am a little ashamed) to admit that I read and loved the book! The point it makes is simple, but it is one that seems to elude most women. If he isn't calling you, if he isn't sleeping with you, if he is sleeping with someone else, if he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you...he just isn't that into you. Once someone accepts this fact then it becomes much easier to put things into perspective. "He didn't want to try our relationship again. If he was that into he would have, so he isn't the right guy for me." Silly Greg Behrendt yammers on and on about how "you" (the woman reading the book) deserve a guy who is insanely into you, and if he can't be, then you should move on, because someone will be. (eventually. hopefully)

So, the movie is basically the book in movie form (now, I had no idea how this was going to be done when I learned a year ago that this was going to be made into a movie...but, I'll go into that later). Netflix tells us,

Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore and Scarlett Johansson lead an all-star cast in this adaptation of the bestseller that follows an ensemble of characters dealing with the pitfalls of love and human interaction. Set in Baltimore, director Ken Kwapis's film moves swiftly between a host of storylines and characters brought to life by a stellar lineup that includes Jennifer Connelly, Ben Affleck, Ginnifer Goodwin and Justin Long.

Ken Kwapis!! Of The Office Season 2 "Casino Night" (aka: the most perfect episode ever) fame?! Hot DAMN!!

And how much did I pay to watch?
Again, my mother paid for the ticket. I don't know how much, but I didn't pay anything. But she did buy me movie nachos...which was awesome!

And what did I think?
Well, I am embarrassed to say that this is the best book to film adaptation I have seen this year. I suppose, though, that the film industry should be embarassed by this, not me, because there have been amazing books that have been turned into films (Atonement, Revolutionary Road, The Reader, etc). Even though these books were better, and were written SO beautifully, they didn't translate well because there was no narrator to communicate what the author told us as readers. Now, what made HJNTIY work well as a movie was that the role of the author/narrator was made into an actual character in the film (played by Justin Long). This was what made the different questions/vingettes from the book translate to film. Frankly, I was amazed that this device was employed, and I was floored that it worked. Poor idiots who failed making better books into movies because they didn't have a narrator. Losers.

Now, the thing that was irritating and odd was that the characters and the narrator and the book's author kept emphasizing that you (the everywoman) are not special. Sure, you heard the story about the girl who liked the guy and he never called and treated you like crap, but somehow they ended up happily ever after anyway. But you are not that woman. And her story is the exception to the rule. You are the rule, not the exception. EXCEPT...every. single. character. in the movie ended up being the exception. So, what does that tell all the ridiculous, silly women in the world? You aren't the exception to the rule, but, for your specific love and relationship you probably are.

This seemed so ludicrous for a movie that was trying to communicate what it was. Ri.dic.u.lous.

But, other than that little flaw it was really quite good. Entertaining with characters that the audience cared about--good looking characters, at that--it was funny, and heartfelt, and honestly, everything I would expect from Ken Kwapis.

So what is the rating? (out of 10)
I give it a 9. No, maybe an 8.5. No, I guess a 9. Because it was a great book adaptation, smartly done and well acted for what it was. The message was quite trite, but, well, I suppose a lot of messages are these days.